How to handle sleep deprivation as a chronically ill mom
Are you a mom who is chronically ill and just trying to survive the newborn or toddler days? Well, if so you are in the right place! Sleep deprivation tends to come with the territory of having kids, and this can take a heavy toll on a mom with chronic illness. Here I will give you my top tips and tricks for moms with chronic illness and chronic pain.
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Why Sleep Deprivation Feels Worse With Chronic Illness
Pretty much all chronic illnesses have one symptom in common, extreme fatigue! Combine fatigue with exhaustion and you’ve got the perfect recipe for mom burn out. So, why does sleep deprivation feel so much worse for us? Well, we crave sleep, pretty much every waking moment is spent thinking about when we will be able to go lay down and rest again. When we don’t get that rest, we become truly desperate, and sometimes angry! Our body essentially has its check engine light on, and it’s telling us to pump the breaks, but when we can’t do that we’re really pushing our body beyond it’s safe limits, and this can put us into a bad flare of symptoms.
The Impact Of Chronic Pain On Sleep
Toddler and infant wakes aside, chronic pain is just another thing that’ll wake you up at night as a mom with chronic illness. It should be a cruel joke really, our body desperately craves sleep, but we can’t even get comfortable enough to get restful sleep!
Not all people with POTS experience pain, but personally- I do! Not necessarily due to POTS itself, but the POTS trio (POTS, MCAS, & EDS) can cause a few different kinds of pain. My worst pain points are my joints and legs. So for sleep, that means I need to support my joints into good positions throughout the night. This took some getting used to, but I highly recommend some wedge pillows and this supportive body pillow for getting yourself into a good restful sleeping position if you’re struggling with chronic pain!
How to function on little sleep as a mom with chronic illness
It’s not easy, but as moms we just kinda make things work! My biggest tip is to seriously pace yourself through the day, especially when you know you aren’t even close to functioning at baseline, and you know you had a rough night of sleep last night! That means, leave the dishes in the sink and go sit down for a minute!
Another big tip I have that is absolutely crucial to my success is having a perfectly baby/toddler proof playroom! You don’t necessarily need to spend every day confined to the play room, but on those days where you just don’t have the strength, or you need to lay down to keep yourself and the kids safe, make sure you have a play room that is safe and completely toddler proof. That way, if you are feeling really bad and fear you could pass out, there is a safe place for the kids and it also provides you a restful place to lay down without worrying about the kids getting into anything they shouldn’t be.
I also have a giant cup for my water, so that I’m not getting up 2000 times throughout the day to make a new cup of electrolytes or water. It’s a 50 ounce Reduce Tubler and I absolutely love this thing. I’ve used it every day for the last year and seriously, I couldn’t live without it. I really love that this one is 50 ounces too because it makes it fairly effortless for me to keep track of how many ounces I am drinking in a day, especially with brain fog! I just really appreciate the simplicity in knowing I only need to drink 2 full cups a day to get my minimum ounces in!
Managing Fatigue: How To Prioritize Rest As A Chronically Ill Mom
Remember when your child was a newborn and everyone told you “sleep when the baby sleeps.” I’m gonna tell you the exact same thing, if you have one kid this will be pretty easy to manage, but if you have multiple, I highly encourage you to set up at least one nap per day that everyone is able to Rest at the same time for. And I do mean everyone!! Yes- You!
I’m sure you‘ve read about all of these moms on Pinterest and Instagram That wake up at 5am to start their morning routine and enjoy some “me time” before the kids wake up. Let me just de-influence you from that, because as a chronically ill mom, this is not going to benefit you in the slightest. PLEASE don’t wake yourself up at 5am on a Tuesday, unless you absolutely have to.
How To Ask For Help When Sleep Deprivation Becomes Overwhelming
When my youngest was an infant I was so sleep deprived I was hearing things and seeing things out of the corner of my eyes that weren’t actually happening. Sleep deprivation can be scary and dangerous, not to mention the toll it takes on your mental health. Trust me- I understand it more than anyone else ever will. I also understand how hard it is to ask for help, especially when it comes to needing help with your kids.
First of all, find a trusted family member or partner and confide in them. Remind them of your illness and how hard this has been on your body physically and emotionally. Be raw, real and vulnerable, so they can find the best ways to support you in the ways you truly need it the most. finally, accept the help, and don’t let the mom guilt get to you. You’re not a bad mom for accepting help.
You’re Not Alone: Encouragement for the Sleep Deprived Mom With Chronic Illness
You are not alone & I am right here with you. when you’re awake in the middle of the night rocking your baby back to sleep for the 3rd time and you feel alone, just remember there are millions of moms just like you doing the same thing all over the globe. Chronic illness can leave us feeling isolated and misunderstood, but I am here with you to bridge that gap, and to speak up about our realities. Together, we can get through this and raise some awesome kids along the way too.
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